Let's catch up

So I ran the race! (Sheesh - I didn't realize I never posted about that...) It was hard -- a lot harder than I expected. I did most of my training on a treadmill at a slight incline to simulate a run outdoors, but I swear that race was entirely uphill. Scott "ran" with me the whole way (though he could've walked faster than I ran), and I finished close to last...the key word there being "close" -- I wasn't last! Yes, it took me 43 minutes and 25 seconds to run 3.1 miles - but I ran the whole damn thing. I didn't walk, and I finished, and I felt pretty good about that.

A few days after the race, Scott hurt his arm at work (he's okay), and he's been off work for three weeks now. I love having more time with my husband, but I also get lazy when he's around. We went out to eat a lot and got custard at Culver's more days than not. Well, needless today, I haven't been Paleo since he's been off work, and I quickly gained 8 pounds! Now some of that's water weight that will come right back off, but the rest of it is Culver's custard.

But thankfully (sort of) he's going back to work this week, and we got back on the horse yesterday. I've been mostly "clean" for two days, I've lost 2.5 pounds, and I'm back in the 5K training game. Scott and I will be running the Berbee Derby on Thanksgiving, and my goal for this race (besides being another 30 pounds lighter while I'm running it) is to improve my time to 35 minutes. That's a pretty tall order given my current pace of about 14 minute miles, but I'm workin' the plan and victory will be mine!

Cavewomen don't carbo-load

Wow, I can't believe tomorrow's the big day! My first 5K race! I picked up our (mine and Scottie's) race packets, complete with (pretty nice!) t-shirts. I took a drive around the race course, and I have my timing chip on my shoe, iPod loaded, and favorite running clothes set out. I'm feeling some butterflies, though I can't figure out why. The only competition is with myself, though I must admit I would prefer not to be the red-face fat girl who finishes last.

Of course I've been thinking about how best to prepare during my evening before the race. I've decided that a little extra carbohydrate boost might be a good idea, but I'm not going to carbo-load. First of all, it's only 3.1 miles - not a marathon. I don't really need much in the way of extra carbohydrates. But I have noticed that I tend to run better and feel less fatigued after eating a moderate amount of carbs. Second of all, I don't eat a ton of carbs on other days, and they say not to change much before a race.

So tonight for dinner I'm having lemon pepper chicken breast; a romaine and cabbage salad with boiled egg, tomato, radish, carrots, and avocado; and (*drum roll....*) PRETZEL BREAD! I am indulging in one of life's little pleasures that is Hy-Vee's delicious pretzel bread. I could've gone a little more Paleo and chosen a sweet potato, but I'm not going to eat the whole loaf, so I figure I should be okay.

I'm off to rest, hydrate, and fend off the pre-race jitters!

Running: So easy a caveman can do it.

I signed up to run my first 5K (~3.1 miles) race on July 24. Today is July 9. I could not finish my 2.5 mile run without walking. Twice. 2.5 miles was a breeze on Sunday, but my past couple runs have been not so great. I'm okay with being slow. I mean, I consider 6 mph to be an all out sprint. But walking is NOT OKAY!

It's mostly mental - I know. And I've been pulling out every trick I can think of to get past the brick wall in my brain that keeps me from running for 2.5 straight miles. I get into my music. I find a good pace. I focus on the tv that's attached to my treadmill. I look around outside. I talk to myself. Out loud. (In the gym, yes. People can stare all they want.) "Keep going!" "Don't stop!" "Don't walk!" Most of the time it works or I wouldn't be able to run as far as I do. But sometimes my body just can't - or won't - keep up.

WHY? I don't get it. I try to eat just the right amount of food before I run, and I stay hydrated but not too full of water that I get sick. I don't try to push myself too hard. I just try to not walk. That's the goal of my entire workout - not walking. And lately, more often than not, I can't do it. Sometimes I want to chalk it up to my weight and say I'm just too heavy to run yet. But that's crap. I can run. I've been running. I ran 2.5 straight miles on Sunday. I should be able to do it again!

And next week it goes up to 2.75 miles. And the next week is 3 miles. And then it's time for the race! I'll admit it - I'm a little nervous. I still feel so far away from my goal. But I am determined to run that damn race if it kills me. I will run the whole thing. I will not walk for 3.1 miles. I might puke and I might pass out afterwards, but damn it - I'm a runner!

Cavewoman vs. the modern social gathering

Following a Paleo lifestyle and diet is pretty easy once you get used to it. After the initial "detox" from sugar, salt, and grains, I generally find that the food selection is diverse enough to keep my stomach and my taste buds satisfied, which in turn keeps my mind happy and focused on the task of improving my health.

Despite my success adhering to the "program" most of the time, there are situations in which I almost thoughtlessly revert to my Neolithic eating habits. Not entirely, mind you, and I do give thought to what I'm putting in my mouth before I eat it - Paleo or otherwise. But there are times in social settings where the pull to stray from the "program" is just too strong.

For example, this past weekend, there was a cookout at a coworker's house, and I ate my burger on a bun, had a little piece of cheese, and a little cake. Today after work, I helped a friend move, and our reward was pizza. I had two slices (and I was stuffed!). Do I feel guilty? Not really. While I would've preffered to stay true to Paleo, in these situations, I made a conscious decision to stray, and I made this decision because I knew a) it was a temporary situation, b) I was in a social setting that was designed to be enjoyable (enhanced by tasty food), and, most importantly c) I knew I could control myself and not overindulge.

This last point is was one of the main lessons I've taken from the Paleo lifestyle so far. I'm learning how to make good choices and have self-control. We are bombarded daily with all sorts of opportunities for gluttony, and I spent the better part of 29 years taking advantage of those opportunities without any sort of internal trigger to say "enough."

Now, while the Paleo community would tell me I'm not following the program or that I'm not really "Paleo" because I have the occasional non-Paleo treat, I belive that balance is also important. I don't think it's reasonable to go the rest of my life not being able to enjoy little treats from the modern ago from time to time. I don't intend to have these treats every day or even every week. In fact, I would rather be able to stick to the program 100% of the time -- if only that were feasible to do. I think that there are just times where it's okay to not be the freak caveman diet girl and have a whole grain bun on my hamburger. I'm not saying I'm going to eat five bowls of ice cream and bag of chips at every party I ever go to in my life. With any luck, there will always be a fruit tray, a veggie tray, and some sort of meat that can enjoy while actively participating the social setting in which I am eating. But I don't think it's worth the psychological stress to avoid all non-Paleo foods when the social situation calls for a little flexibility.

Of course, my opinion on this whole thing seems to be evolving, and next week I may very well say that it's all or nothing - that I'm not ever having another hamburger bun again. But right now, I'm feeling a little more realistic. I'm aiming high. I'm succeeding about 93% of the time, and I'm dedicated to the overall purpose of this mission - improving my health - which I don't believe is compromised by the occasional Neolithic food.

Personal paradigm shift - eating well, eating local

I used to brush off the Madison fad of buying and eating local. People here make a big deal about it, but that's probably because it's a good idea, and it's hard to do. I've been doing a lot of reading about food systems, the Western diet, the business of nutritionism, and buying local/organic. Who can argue with the idea of supporting local farmers, knowing where your food is grown, and eating fresh, flavorful, seasonal food?

But the Western way is hard to deny. I'm accustomed to getting whatever type of food I want whenever I want - at 3 am, if I so choose. This convenience is courtesy of my local grocery stores. There are several, and many are open 24 hours a day. They are always stocked with a wide variety of food...and food-like substances...all at relatively reasonable prices.

The same cannot be said for my local farmer's market. Or the CSA (community-supported agriculture) farm down the road from which a purchase a fruit and vegetable share. Or the farmer north of here who sells me grass-fed and finished beef and pork. I can't run to the store to pick up the items I purchase from these people, nor can I buy foods that aren't currently available. Sometimes the farmer doesn't have what I'm looking for, so maybe I have to call another farmer or eat something different. And there are plenty of foods I should and do eat, such as bananas and pineapple, that I will never be able to buy from my local Wisconsin farmer.

I have to plan. I pick up my CSA share every Tuesday evening, right at the farm. But I don't know until that day what vegetables and fruit will be available for my family to eat that week. Most of the produce I get from my CSA is stuff I've never heard of before. I have to spend time not only researching what it is that I was given but also what to do with it, how to cook it, etc.

Meat is a little easier to plan for - it's not hard to cook a steak, and they (unlike my fresh vegetables - which I want to each fresh) can be frozen indefinitely and cooked when I want to eat it. But also unlike my CSA share - which I find to be reasonably-priced - grass-fed beef and pork, as well as free-range chicken and eggs, are, I have found, about twice as expensive as their grain-fed counterparts.

Without getting into the ins and outs of why grass is better than grain or why people would do well to eat more locally grown, whole foods (for that, read Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food), I'm becoming more and more willing to pay the premium to support my family's health. That doesn't make it easy on the household budget, but I'm becoming increasingly aware of the importance of spending our hard-earned cash on good food that's really fresh from the (responsible) farm (and doesn't just say "farm fresh" on a package) instead of overly processed food-like substances from the grocery store or local chain restaurant.

So where does this leave me? I'm swimming in sea of information - good and bad - and I'm trying to clear my own path (and my family's path) by reading as much as I can, making decisions based on the best available information, planning and making food and health priorities in my life, and not balking at the prices of things I put into my body when those things give me health and life. There is little more important to our lives, our selves than what we put into our bodies, and I'm trying to take great care to make the right choices.

Relapse and recovery

Confession: After 26 successful days of eating Paleo, I had a relapse. It started with my trip to Minnesota. I had planned to go a little off course for my dinner Friday evening because I knew I would be on a dinner cruise. I thought that would be my one indulgence and then back on track the next morning.

Well, hotel continental breakfasts are not exactly Paleo-friendly. Yes, there were boiled eggs. I don't know if I've just gotten used to my free-range Omega-3 super-expensive eggs, but the eggs at the hotel were sub-par at best. So what was the next healthiest thing? An English muffin. Grains, yes - but better than a bagel, right? Probably would've been - without the grape jelly...and coffee with creamer...and little fruit danish for dessert (which defintely wasn't worth the sugar or the calories).

Okay fine - I didn't have much to choose from at the hotel. But for the rest of the day, I could control my food choices. I would skip whatever was served at the baby shower for lunch, eat my trail mix on the way home, and then eat dinner when I got back to Wisconsin. Do you know how hard it is to resist little homemade melted ham and swiss sandwiches, cheesy hashbrowns, and brownies? It's damn near impossible. Even if I'd had all the willpower in the world, I would've been shunned by my in-laws for not enjoying the feast that was laid before me. So I ate. It was delicious. And by this point, the guilt started to set in.

Not to fear! I knew I would be able to hit the gym when I got home Saturday evening, and that's exactly what I did. Sure, I was up a couple pounds, but no biggie - that would come right off. And I'm sure some of it did -- until I drank myself silly Saturday night. Bacardi Limon and 7, followed by peach schnapps. Had a fabulous time drinking hundreds of calories.

At this point, virtually the whole weekend is a loss, and waking up with a raging headache Sunday morning, we traded church for Pizza Hut delivery and, I'm ashamed to say, damn near downed a pizza a piece throughout the day. And, to add insult to injury, topped it off with a trip to Culver's for frozen custard.

DAMN! Not only did I completely sabotage four weeks worth of perfect eating and weight loss, I also felt completely sick Sunday night - and not from my hangover. There was no doubt in my mind that my little bender was a one-time thing -- one weekend of reckless abandon and complete gluttony. It wasn't worth it. I have to re-lose some of the weight I lost, clean out my system of alcohol, sugar, salt, and processed crap and restore the healthy balance I had created in my body over the previous month.

Come Monday, I got right back on the horse. No problem. Now it's Tuesday, and it feels good to back to myself again - the "new" self that cares what's in the food I'm eating, where it comes from, and what it does to my body. Yes, if I could go back, I would definitely make different choices over the weekend - especially Saturday night into Sunday. But at least I've learned that this isn't just a phase or some "thing" I'm trying out. This is really what I want to do, and despite a slip-up, I'm doing it.

Plateau or progress?

As expected, the speed of my initial weight loss has slowed as I get used to this new cavewoman lifestyle. I knew I couldn't sustain weight loss at a half pound per day forever (though I wouldn't object ot it...). When I actually saw the scale go up a pound this week, of course my initial reaction was to feel discouraged. But I just knew that I shouldn't feel that way. I have been doing everything right for almost four weeks now. I cannot be gaining weight.

So, as any other obsessive person would do in my situation, I went straight for the internet for affirmation that this lull was really my body getting used to things...or gaining muscle...or any other random hypothesis that would suit my needs. And I found plenty of them! Some of them are probably true, I suppose. I bet I am gaining muscle. It would be pretty amazing if I hadn't gained any muscle after a month of running three times a week and lifting weights. But that's not the real point.

The idea behind the changes I'm making is to lead a healthy lifestyle -- and I'm doing that! I'm succeeding! A month ago, I was stopping at the Burger King drive-thru for breakfast. Just over a year ago, I was smoking. Just last week, I couldn't run as far as I ran today. And damn - I'm already down 50 pounds from my weight at the beginning of 2009, and I'm down 14.5 pounds from a month ago! So what if I didn't lose much (or any) weight this week? I just put on an old pair of pants that isn't tight anymore. I ran longer and faster today than I did all week. My friends are amazed at my persistence. My husband thinks I'm sexy, and, well - I just feel good!

And today, I say -- that's plenty reward for me.